


Sober Ruminations

by moderatelyokay



Series: Pridith Regina [3]
Category: Dragonriders of Pern - Anne McCaffrey
Genre: Alternate Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 11:05:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14933034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moderatelyokay/pseuds/moderatelyokay
Summary: Vignette in an AU where Kylara becomes Weyrwoman of Benden.F'lar and F'nor visit Ruatha Hold to check on young Jaxom. F'lar's ruminating.





	Sober Ruminations

**Author's Note:**

> Another vignette in this AU.

Turnover, 01.01.03, Ninth Pass

* * *

 Damn T'bor for interfering! F'lar thought as they emerged from between above the Ruathan fireheights.

Mnementh rumbled beneath him. F'lar brushed his forelock out of his eyes and looked to his left where F'nor and Canth shadowed him. He clenched his teeth, resenting this intrusion upon his previously clandestine visits to Ruatha, where he'd sometimes go between times to watch Lessa. He knew instinctively the dangers of interfering and the dangers of being there too often, but he no longer even had the possibility thanks to T'bor's orders!

And damn Kylara for telling the Weyrleader! he thought more vehemently. That woman was not fit to be Weyrwoman. He never should have pressed Lessa to tutor her before Pridith's egg! The egocentrism he'd mistaken as strength of will, the thought that a dragon would keep her in check. If Lessa hadn't died, they could have removed Kylara to the resumed Southern Weyr project.

 _Be at ease, F'lar_ , Mnementh said, rumbling again as he and Canth banked towards the Ruathan courtyard. _Pridith does well by the Weyrwoman, and the Weyrwoman does well by Pridith. We should not have gone in time to see Lessa. It makes you worse to see her. You must move on._

_She was everything Pern needed, Mnementh._

_Pern prospers because of what they did,_ Mnementh responded, imploring him, _but you must move on._

F'lar grimaced at the transience of dragon's memories, although he knew the dragon was right. The resilience F'lon had instilled in him as a youngster had crumbled with Lessa's death. He had always thought that when he became Weyrleader, all would be right with the dragonriders and Pern. He hadn't counted on Lessa's allure—he hadn't understood what it would mean for him to love another.

Mnementh landed neatly and F'lar vaulted from his withers. F'lar patted the bronze's great foreleg as F'nor strode up to him to confer.

"You won't try to go back to see Lessa today?" the brownrider implored him.

F'lar shook his head. "I won't put you in that position, F'nor."

F'nor nodded, looking relieved. Quite earnest, he said, "I would vouch for you, if I thought…"

"I wouldn't put you in that position, F'nor," F'lar repeated, placing a grateful but reassuring hand on his wingsecond's shoulder. "Besides, I try to visit young Jaxom every so often. Lytol is so dour and…"

He choked up and couldn't continue.

"You feel you owe it to Lessa to see that the Hold she gave up for your grand vision—"

F'lar made a peremptory cutting motion. He collected himself by clearing his throat, "Something like that, brother. Ruatha Hold needs more children Jaxom's age."

The Lord Warder and the young Lord made their way from the Hold proper to where the dragonmen stood by their beasts. Under his breath, F'nor commented, "Lytol shouldn't remind young Jaxom of Lessa's sacrifices so often."

F'lar shook his head, saying grimly, "No youngster needs that burden, not with a mother dead in his birthing." He couldn't quite bring himself to admit Lessa's part in the Lady Gemma's death.

F'nor looked at him, questioning. "F'lar, you need to think about your duty to Weyr and Pern."

"In time, F'nor," F'lar said, gritting his teeth as he motioned his brother forward to meet Lytol and Jaxom.

**Author's Note:**

> Questions explored:  
> How would F'lar cope with Lessa's death?


End file.
